Assignment 8- Bhoomi Shah

Fears- Losing a family member, failing
Annoyances- People who are intentionally rude
Accomplishments- Good grades, good AP scores
Confusions- Time management
Sorrows- controlling anxiety
Dreams-Traveling, becoming independent
Idiosyncrasies- Prioritizing work that logically should be last
Risks- Living on my own (want), Starting my own club (did)
Beloved Possession- Silly bands (then), happiness (now)
Problems: Focusing

My fears may seem typical, and they are. Everyone is scared of losing a family member; everyone fears failure. But the truth is that these things really scare me, to the point that I become obsessed with preventing them. I remember when I was in 6th grade, my dad used to work in another state and would come home every weekend. I would always constantly worry about him and I made sure to call him every morning and every evening. Even before I went to bed I would pray to god to keep him safe. I don't like not having control over something: it honest to goodness freaks me out. One morning I remember trying to call my dad 2 or 3 times, and every time I called there was no answer. I got scared. At that time my brother and I were home alone, and I, being the oldest, was supposed to take care of him. My mom wasn't there to calm me down, and I frantically tried calling his cell maybe 5 times more. Finally, I did something I hate myself for doing. I called his work and I told the lady at the front desk to see if my dad had arrived. She was super sweet and, to my relief, told me he had. Turns out he had left his phone in his car. Now, I'm not that crazy anymore but sometimes I can't help myself. That's where my fear of failure comes in. I've always been too afraid to try new things because I fear that I'm going to be horrendously bad at it and never improve. I fear I will have no control over it. Logically, I know that's not true, but I just can't help my self. Luckily, now as I've gotten older I am willing to try more things and have even taken up piano lessons, which I've always wanted to do. All I hope is that one day I'll be able to leave these worries behind me and become a more relaxed person. I don't know if this will ever be the case, but I know I have been trying to make an effort to change.